Falling Back To Your Own Life

Just for a moment, imagine you are in a love relation which is as perfect as you desired.

Consider yourself lucky if you don’t have to imagine it.
Now, a question,

what if it falls apart tomorrow!

Does this scare the shit out of you? If yes, then you are vulnerable. 

Consider yourself in a war zone with no weapon and can be shot anytime.

What I am trying to say is that you don’t love
yourself enough!

Sounds harsh, I know, but I have my reasons and solution for it.

Reasons are simple!

Are you that weak to not live without anyone?

The harsh reality is either you are going to leave one day or either people will leave you?

So again, why not to get attached to memories instead of people.

Don’t take me wrong, I am not saying that you should not fall in love but you should love yourself first! 

Now how to do that?
This comes under the solution I was talking about.

Sounds repetitive, I know again but let’s dig it again.

Write down your hobbies, something which you love doing, it could

be as non-productive as playing games.

Now think about how to monetize it,
trust me people who love to play games

like PUBG are earning.

And just improve on it. 

The problem we mostly come up with is either we
write goals instead of hobbies,

and second is we don’t stick to it.

Trust me on it, once you get going and earn even a single cent out of it, people will start respecting you and here’s the bottom line,

You can’t love a person everyday but certainly can respect them.

Explaining it a little, expecting your partner to love you everyday is a problem

in itself but they can respect you, given you must have done something to earn it.

The Books And Spikes - Part-2 - The First Bump

Because continuity is important! Click here if you have not read the part-1!

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I have been training well without a fail for about 20 days and the thought that my parents are expecting haunts me slightly just before sleeping. Nights are crazy, trust me on that. I don’t know about others but I tend to become honest, bold, and raw, right after midnight and due to this, I avoid mid-night chats and long conversations. “Good things take time,” whosoever said this didn’t complete it. He didn’t mention the hurdles you will meet, things will never go smooth. The first hurdle which I bumped into was a muscle pull or in words of my doctor, tearing of my tissues. I was limping for almost the entire day, it was that bad. Nothing happened for first 20 days and when I started to feel confident about the decision I took, this happened. Maybe the beginner's luck worked for me just like it works for any immature gambler. In school, nobody was aware of my secret mission except for my childhood friend and my bench partner, Rishabh. Rishabh was someone who was a jack of few and master of none. One thing which keeps him going was his ability to fit in any situation and to jell up even with a socially introvert person. I believe this superpower of his will help him achieve a lot, if a person like me can share anything with him, just imagine how comfortable it was to be around him. I told him about how uneasily I am walking today. “Yeah! I saw” he said while digging out something from his bag. “I just wish, this will go away quickly” “It will for sure but that’s not the problem!” “Alright Wiseman! Then please enlighten me” “You are training yourself without a trainer. These bumps will hamper your efficiency.” “What you mean?” “You are investing a hundred and getting back one twenty, with a trainer it will be one fifty.” “Trainer? I can’t afford a trainer and I can’t ask my parents. The spikes sometimes feel more like a liability than an asset.” “Sports teacher dude, sports teacher” “You think someone who has a belly like six months pregnant lady, can help me?” “He has trained some of finest athletes of our school, that’s what you should see." “Why he has a belly, tell me that?” “You better ask him, all I know is that he knows how to train. He has knowledge with experience and that’s what you need right now. Everyone has something which we can take out from them, negative or positive, you choose.” Though I didn’t like losing this discussion but Rishabh was actually right. I nodded my head and he understood that I have agreed with him. Also, I will take some action too. Getting a tag of a school athlete was easy, get yourself registered and show up the next morning. Nobody will care if you won’t, you are responsible for yourself and if you want some help, Mr. Gill, who has a belly, is there for you. During recess, I went to sports department and started with the registration. “Rishabh, I just hope this will work.” I thought just before signing up the registration form.I came back to the class and he was there with a grin on his. “Listen you Bastard, if this step slapped my face, I am going to break you into two.” “And if this worked, you will treat this bastard.” “Yeah, but there’s something else too.” “Now what?” “There will be better athletes than me on the ground. I will feel so little around them.” “That’s so sweet of you to already call them better than you,” he said in a sarcastic tone. “But they actually are!” “You know this, I know this, but they don’t and you better don’t show this too. Treat them like a competition.” I have always noticed it but never acknowledged that Rishabh was way more confident than the imaginary confident myself. I already feel like a professional athlete with a trainer with his side. I just hope that Mr. Gill won’t slow me down. I don’t expect him to add a lot, just don’t make me regret signing up for it.

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The Books & Spikes! Part-1- The Unfit Worm

“You don’t have a physique of an athlete” said the sports teacher who himself was a shorty with a big belly.

“Is there any way out?” I asked

“Yup, try out next year, train yourself well and come out for trials”
I nodded my head and went back broken. I wanted to represent my house for the upcoming sports day. Though he was right, someone who has always been in the library and into books can’t compete with all those who have years of training.

With a snail walk, I went to my room, and just like every time, my mother guessed it, something was wrong with her son.
I was in the depth of negativity when she sat next to me.

“Scored less than you expected?”
“No” I said with a voice lighter than the feather.
“She said No?” said with a smirk on her face.
“No and there’s no she, you know this” I gained my voice with some seriousness.
“Then what?”
“They say I can’t participate in 500 meters because I don’t have a good physique.”
“And is there any solution to that?”
“Yeah! Run for the next 365 days.”
“Well, if you really want to do this then go ahead, I will help you”
“How? By running with me?”
She laughed, “No, by waking you up early.”
“Umm..alright, though I love my sleep.”
“Sacrifices! They can build anything. It’s up to you now, sacrifice your dream or sacrifice your sleep. The choice is yours and your lunch is on dining.”

And that’s something I have always loved about my mother, She believes and supports every decision of mine.

It was unexpected of me but I was up before the sunrise. Geared up and went to the nearest playground. I don’t even remember when was the last time I was here but never mind, I was here and started sprinting. It all went for mere 20 mins before I was out of breath.
Hmm..a good start maybe, I thought.
Days went on and my give up time increased day by day, so did my confidence. I still have 13 months and that’s a lot I thought.
Though I had the option to join the sports club of the school and run with the sharp jawline athletes but I decided not to.
Reason?
I won’t be confident around them and their heavy training will tear my self-esteem.
The reason when somebody asks me
I can’t get up that early.
Actually, I was waking up earlier than them.
A few days later, on a Sunday night, my dad knocked my door.
“Hey are you up?”
“Yeah, just about to go to sleep.”
“I got something for you.”
I love surprises and gifts.
“What?” My eyes were shining brightly.
He handed over a rectangular box and spikes they were.
“Wow!” that was my first reaction.
“Thanks, Dad”
“I saw your dedication and thought to add to it.”
“Yeah, they look amazing!”
“Yup, I hope they will help you to perform better.”
“Of course they will.’

I was closer to my mom than dad. He was more of a father than dad but I never complained about that. Maybe because my mother was enough or maybe I understood that he is a busy man with an empire to run or maybe I got used to it. This actually never bothered me.

Whatever it was, we were not that close as my friends were to their dad.

I was happy to know that despite being so engrossed in making money, he took the time to put some efforts. On the other hand, the thought that my parents have started to expect something from me was hitting me up.

“Are they? Or maybe I am just overthinking?”

I somehow managed to put that thought aside and went to dreams. I was aware that this haunting will come up again tomorrow but I had to wake up early tomorrow as well.

I call myself an atheist but situation like these make me pray.
“Please God! No, it’s just a gift and not an expectation.”

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